Sometimes Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

"I really shouldn't miss you,but I can't let you go"
My Life Would Suck W/out You-Kelly Clarkson

The debate of the day was would I make today or Thursday my 8 miler,since I'm leaving work early on Thursday I figured I could cop a tad more daylite Thursday so why not make that my 10 miler.
Once again my nemesis the CSX Freight beat me to the punch at the railroad tracks at Locust St by about 30 seconds so yet again it was up and over Walnut St bridge and down the steps on to the banks,to quote the always quotable Monty Python"still I was getting used to it by now"
Nice evening to run,36 degrees according to Peco Tower and now that{fingers crossed} my on going fight w/ the bank has been resolved{took the buggers long enough!}I can spring for my cold weather running gear because as cold as it's been,it's gonna get colder.

Dec 20th has in the past often been one of the darkest days for me,and that has nothing to do w/ it being the day b4 Winter Solstice,had things work out differently it would be my wedding anniversary but that as they say is another story.
Last year the anniversary took a unique turn,I fell in to the show"Being Erica" which if you're not familiar w/ is the story of a 30 something who by fate meets a shrink,Dr Tom who helps Erica relive some of her past failures by going back and re altering her past,so I did that one thing you probably shouldn't do and thought"what if"
12 days b4 meeting my ex wife for the first time on Xmas Eve 84 I was meant to meet a girl from work for a drink that nite.
I'd been in awe of Jean for a while but too shy to do anything about it but gave her a red rose for xmas and we had a few drinks that lunch time,we arranged to meet up that evening,however I got there late and thought I'd missed her,turned out Jean never made it but I didn't know that at the time.
12 days later I met Erica for the first and my life took a very different turn,so I thought "what if" Jean had've shown up that nite on Xmas Eve 84 and that's where the Kelly Clarkson lyric comes in to play,I really shouldn't still miss Jean after 26 years but here I am playing the ''what if''game,is it to defuse feelings towards making a complete mess of my marriage or wondering what might've been,?either way playing the 'what if' game can sometimes be a dangerous game.
Jean I still think about you and I hope you're happy.Erica I'm sorry I made such a mess of our marriage but after all these years it really is time to move on for me.