"Come here to me and I'll tell ye now did ye know I've got 300 cows the tax man won't get my cash come into the jacks and have a look at me rash ye young lads think I'm a fool, I bet ya ten bob I'll bate ya at pool I don't clean up shur I live on my own ah go on to fuck would ye drop me home, I am the aul, the auld lad in the pub came for the craic not for the grub you'll have a bit of soup, you'll have a bit of soup this is the auld fella in the pub"
The Auld Lad In The Pub-The 2 Johnnies
Well the feckin' Dog Days Of Summer are back, hopefully a new pair of runners and some days off have helped the achilles and this blip in training is just that a blip.........
Tuesday August 3rd after five days off I was chompin' at the bit to get back at it....and how! Not only a negative splits out in 21.56 back in 21.10 but kept all five miles splits below 9 min mile pace:8.30-8.40-8.54-8.36-8.27 for a 43.06.8 time off 8.37 mile pace in 68 degrees and 72% humidity on the tried and tested Baltimore Ave,South Street bridge,Schuylkill River Trail to Locust Point and back route,Accu Weather had earmarked today as the pick of the week weather wise so it felt right to use today as my return to training........however for all my craic about coming from a long line of traveling people and having Gypsy blood in my veins.......even I couldn't have predicted the ''catalog of fuck ups" that would shape the next four days............Stephen KIng eat yer heart out.....here comes a real horror story!!!!!
Wednesday August 4th-Thursday August 6th Wednesday was innocent enough, I always say I know if and when a rest day is on the cards when I don't wake up b4 the 5.25am alarm goes off.....on Wednesday it was the alarm that woke me not me waking up and checking the time on my phone, no biggie I still had Thursday,Friday and the option of Saturday b4 Sundays long run........Thursday August 5th,glass half full I was awake b4 the alarm went off......glass half empty upon checking the temps and humidity I discovered 95% humidity......and channeled my best Matthew Broderick in "Biloxi Blues"........man that's hot......Africa hot.......Tarzan couldn't stand that heat..... and fecked off back te bed till 6.45am, even w/out a suspect achilles that was going to be a big ask.......on the subject of the auld achilles I had looked into new runners w/ more cushioning to help w/ that, not to plead poverty but until my substantial pay increase in May I have had to eek out a day to day/week to week existence over the last five years in life in general, rent, food, bills trying to save for trips and putting money aside for my eventual retirement {seven years and counting.......but who's counting????me muthafucker I'm counting!!!!!!!!} as well as my running,races don't come cheap and when it's come to shoes I've had to rely on cheaper,no name brands and up until this current pair have done ok but I can't help but feel w/ not quite 200 miles on these shoes it's no coincidence my achilles began to throb, in life as in Running shoes ye get what ye pay for and I don't think it's a coincidence that these shoes w/ less cushioning than the last several pairs I've bought were the ones that gave up the ghost on me........Found a reasonably priced pair of New Balance shoes on Amazon and figured I'd have at it, catch 22 the money on these shoes was roughly the price of my next race entry fee......however the shoes needed to come first if I didn't address the cushioning issue the race in late September may be a mute point and my entry fee a " charitable donation".........
Friday August 7th-Saturday August 8th Outside of Amazon I have next to nothing delivered here to the house, too much shit has " disappeared" off the door step in the last few years, I feel 90% of things I've ordered online have gone AWOL.....might as well put a red flashing arrow on the door pointing to the item left on my doorstep saying Free Stuff, Help Yerself, Already Paid For!!!!!!!, at least w/Amazon they are good about replacing stolen items.......however the runners were a time sensitive delivery, nine orders out of ten I place on a Friday for Saturday or Sunday delivery so at least I'm home and even then 99% of the delivery drivers don't ring my doorbell to let me know it's there I've had deliveries left and after the fact checked my emails to see the "delivered" email in my emails w/ said photo{ funny how they have time to fire off a photo to cover their arse to say it was delivered but can't/won't ring a shaggin' doorbell???? and upon going to the front door the shit's gone.......According to Amazon if I ordered the runners Thursday morning they would be delivered between 5pm and 10pm Thursday evening......given I could brake them in Friday morning and maybe squeeze in a make up run Saturday I figured why not.... I got home from work 6.20pmish and checked my email "out for delivery".......and proceeded to keep checking my emails till I went to bed at 10.20pm only to be informed " sorry for the delay."..... ye didn't have to be an Ivy League school grad to see what the feck was coming down the tracks?????????????? Friday morning I get an email at 9.48am "delivered" w/ said photo of my $85 brand new New Balance runners sitting on the door step........what a fuckin' turn up for the books upon getting home later than usual gone 7pm to find them gone!!!!!!!!!! Now comes the time honoured auld shite messaging Amazon re the delivery after a thumbs down emoji and explaining to them the delivery is gone I get the " if your order doen't show up by August 10th we will replace it"......ye'll do fuckin' what now ye shower of shite?? I appreciate I'm arguing w/ an automated bot it's like arguing w/ a jerk off on social media.....an utter waste of my time so I asked { several times I have to point out!!!!!......feckin' computers.....Hal the lil bollox Garmin being a prime example!!!!!!!} for an actual representative I could speak to .....I will say Carl w/ whom I spoke to was very gracious re the issue and asides from apologizing profusely { he didn't botch the original delivery Thursday nite or leave an $85 pair of runners in a shoe box on my door step in the heart of West Philly in broad fuckin' daylight b4 10am!!!!!!!} and assured me my new runners would be dispatched and delivered tomorrow.......
Saturday August 8th No point trying to run w/out the new runners so I was resigned to it being back to back 2 day weeks of training.....hey ho sometimes less is more and maybe just maybe all of this auld shite was the universe telling me to slow my roll, I put in a serious body of work in July period but we were also heatwave free.......I'm a lot of things but stupid and or naive I am not and it was a given we'd endure another heatwave or two b4 the end of August.....and maybe one in September, who knows? Officially heatwave #6 yesterday....and they're calling for another 3 days of 90 degree plus heat Sunday,Monday and Tuesday.....meh!As for the runners YES they were delivered yesterday afternoon while I was home .....and NO the langer of a delivery driver did NOT ring my door bell to inform me of this.....but did have time to snap a photo of said delivery on my front step.......God job I run to deal w/ this kind of auld shite!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday August 9th When I answered the snooze button at 5.34am and looked at my phone I saw 89% humidity.......not exactly great for a 5 miler.....hardly runner friendly for a long run, but in running as in life my attitude is "I'd rather try and fail, and know I tried then second guess could I have???" and I was dressed, stretched and out the door by 6.15am 74 degrees was grand,,,,,but the 89% humidity was always going to be a killer as I made my way down 49th Street to the Grays Ferry Avenue bridge and the Schuylkill River Trail, I was heartened by seeing 3 other fellow runners as I entered the path in Greys Ferry park that leads to the trail.....always somewhat reassuring ye are not the only one insane and or neurotic enough to be out there that early in those conditions....#safetyinnumbers....9.00 flat for the opener and 8.29 for mile 2 .........however b4 reaching mile 3 and the on/off ramp at South St bridge in 8.30 I knew my Goose was cooked........feckin' roasted goose in that humidity of Flambe Fenian......take yer pick!!!! continuing along the Schuylkill River Trail was folly so I opted to head home via the South Street bridge and Baltimore Avenue.At best a 5 milers but I had to settle for a stop/start 9.20 mile 4 and called it a day at 35.21.1 off 8.50mile pace........not so much no mas more ahh fer feck sake!!!!
Between the achilles last week and this week, the piss ballin' around w/ Amazon and now heatwave #6 it's been a frustrating two weeks but all I can do is " control the controllables" I've addressed the achilles issue, taken some time off, bought new shoes w/ more cushioning,iced it, put Wolf Balm on it, increased my stretches as for Amazon deliveries and global warming I'm fecked in the immortal words of John Bender in "The Breakfast Club"....."it's out of my hands!!!" hopefully this coming week sees less heat and humidity and more miles........not too much to ask for now....is it???......asking for a friend!!!!!!!
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